Five Minute Friday: Paint

Write for 5 minutes flat. Link up your post on  LisajoBaker.com.

This week’s theme: Paint

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I don't consider myself the painting type. I can paint a room, but when it comes to doing art, I'm not that type of creative. My mom is, and my brother and sister. I don't know why I never picked it up. 

Recently though, I have had the desire to paint. I love colors, the thickness and texture of oil or acrylic paint. It reminds me of my childhood and painting with my fingers. Back then we were always so proud of our messy masterpieces, and my mother agreed with us. 

I wish I picked up painting sooner. If I start painting now, it would still be messy. I like order and structure. I like when the colors match properly and don't blend together to make brown. I think I'm afraid to do it now. 
It's the same with writing. It's messy and it brings emotions out. But pouring out your emotions on paper with sincerity brings out the best poems, in my opinion. Maybe it's the same with painting. I don't have to please anyone with my creations. Sometimes I just need to let it out.

Five Minute Friday: Writer

I decided to jump back on the writing wagon with Five Minute Fridays (I tend to take short rides).  I have also been reminded that it is National Poetry Writing Month. Good thing it's only the first week, so I have time to catch up. I will write most of my poetry on my music blog, Sara Silva Music, since they may be more thoughtful writing (and I have written one post in that blog this year). Time for the topic of the week:

Write for 5 minutes flat. Link up your post on LisajoBaker.com.

This week’s theme: Writer

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Funny that today's topic is "writer". I have never thought of myself as one, but I know I have written a few thought-provoking poems and blog posts. I miss writing poems, but at the same time I'm fine with not writing them. It was something I used to do to control my sad emotions and thoughts. After a few years, it became a sad repeat of writing about when the man of my dreams was going to come into my life. 

I think I stopped writing in 2008, when I decided to go back to college. I was going to write plenty with my sociology courses. But I think, in the end, I didn't want to expose myself. I am happy where I am with myself now. But I know there are things I still need to work through. There are emotions that I pushed deep inside, thinking I will never need or see them again. 

This week, jealousy tried to resurface. But I know what it is and how it looks like, and I have to deal with it. I've been fighting with it in my mind, but I need to start fighting it on paper. I've missed how pen or pencil felt on paper. Not that I don't write anything anymore. I write notes at church and bible study. But when I put a piece of myself on a clear white space, anyone can see it. I can't be broad. I tend to write things short and to the point. That's how I need to be. Just get on with it and learn along the way. I need to get back to writing.

Five Minute Friday: Truth

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This week's theme: Truth

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What's the truth? Am I suppose to know everything at this point in my life?

No. We continue learning after college, after classrooms and study groups. After the ideas and biases we hear from professors and colleagues, associates and enemies.

We heard so many things these days. So much talk about what we should know and believe. We take everything we heard and read and process the facts, looking for the truth. We personify ourselves to the liking of the people we connect with, the people we want to be identified as.

Why do we think that what we believe is truth? It's what we make of it. It's how we process things. In the end, the decision is personal.

We can build our towers with everything that we learned as a child, and in an instant, our beliefs can be destroyed. But it is when this truth last throughout lifetimes. This is where we find the truth of mankind. What is constant? What is steadfast? What is concrete?

Philippians 4:8 (NIV)

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

 

Five Minute Friday: Laundry

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This week's theme: Laundry

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Every time I walk into a laundromat, it brings me to a simpler time. I enjoyed going there, watching the clothes spin, smelling the clean clothes. I know now that my parents have done a lot for our little family. They bought us nice clothing and fed us good food. I know they want the best for me.

We have a washer and dryer at home now, and I do my own loads. But soon there will be a time that I will be on my own. I might not have as much as I would living with my parents. But now I know I will appreciate the little things I will have. 

Life changes when you are on your own. Priorities change. I felt the difference when I flew to California for a week. I felt I had a hold of my own destiny. It felt empowering. Now that I've been back, to the"normal" routine, I don't want to lose that feeling of change.

Five Minute Friday: Write

Write for 5 minutes flat. Link up your post on  LisajoBaker.com.
This week's theme: Write

Funny how this prompt is the exact thing I was thinking about.

What happened to writing just to write? I remember writing without effort in my notebooks, with pencil. I used to write poetry. My mechanical pencil would run out of eraser as I would delete and rewrite my ideas. 

After a while I started typing up my poetry. I joined one of those poetry forums. I would poem and prose to my hearts content. I'd even type up a poem or two at work. As long as I saved my work and no one minded my short mental breaks from monotonous working, I'd write.

Now at the height of the technological age where any writing could be written and posted in a matter of seconds, you would assume I'd have more time to write. I have a smart phone. I have a tablet. I have hundreds of possibilities to research content and connect with other writers. 

But I don't write poetry anymore. The thrill of writing is gone. Not to mention, penmanship is long gone. I wish I could write better in cursive. I love calligraphy. Most teachers have stopped teaching cursive. Can't you see that this is needed? Writing comes from the heart. It allows the movement of the pen. It works the mind to make connections and express true emotion. It is needed.

I am working my way back to the paper and pen. No one needs to see what I write. I thought I stopped writing because I didn't want to write about sad things anymore. I am past the sad emotion phase. I want to write about all the thoughts that enter my mind. 

I used to say once I get my thoughts out on paper I can process them. No paper, no process.

Five Minute Friday: Last

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This week's theme: Last

This is the last day, the time that I have been waiting for. Tomorrow starts a new direction in my life. Whatever happens, I know I will be changed by the events of the next week. 

I will be flying by myself for the first time. I've flown with family, but never completely on my own. The thought of being completely alone is exciting and odd. I've never been away from family, alone for 8 days. Imagine the feeling I will get if I get this job and I live there for years. I know I will visit my family regularly. But I will dearly miss them.

This is my first time on my own. The first time I live alone. The first time I have been to California. The first for many things, but it will not be my last. I can't want for this adventure to start, where I finally get to experience living on my own. Things will change soon after that, but I am holding on to the moments of silence, to learn more about God, and to grow in maturity.

Five Minute Friday: Lonely

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This week's theme: Lonely

There are two different kinds of lonely.

There's the wandering type. The high school lonely. Standing in a crowded cafeteria, scanning every table, looking for a friendly face. The one who would not dare to speak up and ask if this seat is taken.
It's not that she is shy. She is afraid of the rejection. So she is labeled the school's "loner". No one would ever give her the time of day to sit and talk.

Then there is the joy of being alone, to spend time with one's thoughts. Sitting by a lake or water side, feeling the cool breeze and watching the trees sway in rhythm. When you have given up most of your life to help others in need, there is a need to be alone.

There's something about having time alone. But it's not a time to be sad, like the girl you used to know. It's a contemplative time, A reflective time. A time to clear your mind and gain strength to keep on going.

Maturity comes with spending quiet time alone. Some are still the wandering lonely.

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